Luck
by wingless faerie
Summary: everything has changed...maybe even Lily's luck?[rated T just in case]ONESHOT.


It was really amazing how much things could change in a year. For six years the infamous Lily and James had bickered ceaselessly. Well…more like he annoyed and irritated her and she rejected him at every turn, arguing that she would never go out with a child. "Its rape Potter!" she would scream at him, turn on her heel, and walking away muttering curses under her breath at him.

But somehow everything had changed after "The Fight" at the end of their sixth year. As it so happens, Lily and James were in the middle of the crowded dining hall with thousands of students to witness, when he tried asking her out…again.

In Lily's defense she'd been having a bad day as it was, waking up late, having no breakfast (thanks to the latter), failing an exam, failing to turn in an assignment, _and_ was on her period. And then _he_ decides that his usual taunts are in order, which naturally, sent the flaming redhead over the edge. It was completely _not_ her fault. Anyways, getting back to "The Fight", James had once more asked her out, smiling cheekily, drenched in self-assuredness and that arrogance she despised. Lily's blood boiled, she simply couldn't take it anymore. With all the bottled up rage and anger inside her, she screamed at him, _"Don't you get it Potter? I don't like you! In fact, I can't stand being in the same school with you, much less date you! Leave me the BLODDY HELL ALONE!"_ she had stormed out, leaving James and the rest of the Great Hall speechless.

From that point on James had done—for the first time in his life—exactly what she asked, leaving her alone. Gone were the endless taunts he threw her way, gone were his incessant proposals, and gone was that damning spark in his eyes…

Lily felt awful after that. Instead of enjoying her newfound freedom, she missed him, arrogance and all. Every time she saw James, Lily just wanted to throw herself in his arms and beg for his forgiveness. But she had too much damned pride for her own good.

But, on this seventh year, everything had changed. Lily and James were made the Heads of their year, and thus, had to endure each other's company whether they liked it or not, day _and_ night. So getting over her pride, Lily apologized:

"_I'm sorry Potter."_

_James gave her a quizzical look._

"_About what I said to you at the end of last year, in the Great Hall…I really wasn't having a good day, and well, I'm sorry I let it off on you…you think we can start over?"_

_James just looked at her, expressionless, then said, "Under one condition, Evans."_

_Lily flinched, fearing the worst. "What condition Potter?"_

_He smiled, "you call me James."_

_She smiled back, unable to do anything but, "on One condition, _James_…you call me Lily."_

_Both their smiles widened._

"_Alright Lily."_

"_Alright James."_

And that's how this whole mess she was now in started. They didn't just start over, they became friends, one could argue that they, Lily and James, had become _best_ friends. Lily had even befriended the notorious Marauders.

Lily and James were truly a great team. Although they didn't always agree on everything, they complimented each other perfectly. Whereas Lily was serious, studious, and overly responsible, James was more lighthearted, making Lily laugh and smile even at her most stressful hours. After a big project they would go to the café in Hogsmead or just sit in their prefects' common room to wind down, enjoying the delectable coffee and each other's company.

A year ago Lily would've died (literally collapsed on the floor and died) at the thought of their current friendship. But…things had changed. His presence, once irritating was now one of comfort. Lily had, unknowingly, fallen in love with her once nemesis and it was eating her up inside…

Although they had become friends, it was clear to all that James was not interested in pursuing anything more than just that with Lily. It really wasn't the pessimistic Lily talking, it was reality. At the beginning of their seventh year at Hogwarts, James had started dating a Ravenclaw girl by the name of Anna. Now they'd been together for eight months and clearly happy.

Try as she might, Lily could not bring herself to hate the Ravenclaw girl, it just wasn't in her to hate, not even Potter at his worst. Was she jealous? Certainly. Hurt? Most definitely. But her regret at being such a fool was the worst. Lily was a fool for to never have given James a chance and an even greater fool for falling in love with him when he was clearly not interested.

Why did this have to happen to her? Why?! Was this some sort of sick joke karma was playing on her? A tear leaked out of her eye, trailing down her pale cheek. Lily was hopelessly in love with James Potter…

"Lily?" James' concerned voice awoke Lily out of her reverie and quickly wiped the tear, putting on a better face, "James?"

He was looking at her strangely she realized, _could he know…?_

"Lily, are you feeling alright?"

Lily instantly brightened her features, giving him a winning smile, "of course I am."

His look was skeptical, clearly not believing a single word. There was something wrong with her and he was bent on finding out what it was…

"Mind if I sit with you for a bit?"

"No not at all." She scoot over a bit to give him space next to her.

James sat down in the vacated area, adjusting himself so he could look at her.

Lily wasn't the most beautiful girl by most standards, yet she was the most beautiful to him. Her eyes were almond-shaped, neither big nor small, with bright apple-green eyes that seemed no more than a mossy green tonight. Her nose was pert, thin and small but just right for her face, which was slightly heart-shaped. And her mouth, that beautiful mouth he had dreamed of kissing since third year, or maybe even before, was full and plump, and just a bit too wide when she smiled. There were laugh lines at the corners of her mouth. Lily had the sort of smile that brightened up her face as well as the room she occupied; utterly contagious. James loved that smile – he loved making her smile, knowing that at least for a moment he made her happy.

But for some reason unknown to him, Lily was not happy at all. Her smile was strained, her eyes dull, and damn it, the spark in her eyes, the one that had been there though all their arguments, through all their laughs, was gone, extinguished. But…why?

Out of the blue Lily spoke, "James, are you lucky?"

Caught off guard, James responded as best he could, "well…I – I…suppose so…why?"

Catching a glimpse at Lily's expression he found her to be distracted by her own thoughts, "no reason…" she looked at him now, "I'm not lucky at all really. I'd be the worst gambler should I ever venture into it someday…" she looked away to stare off into space once more, "when something is right in front of me, I don't get it, and when it's not, I do…you get me?" with that she looked back at him questioningly.

James had never been more confused in his entire life, he sighed, _women_…

James chuckled, "what the bloody hell are you getting at woman?

Lily smiled at this. It never occurred to her that voicing her thoughts would sound so…well…insane. "Oh don't mind me." She looked back at the invisible spot in front of her, "How's Anna doing?"

Once more perplexed he responded, "Good I suppose." _Or as good as one can be when broken up with…_

She nodded, "that's good…and how are you, James?"

"Confused." At that she looked at him, question in her eyes.

James answered her unvoiced question, "Lily, what's wrong? And don't tell me that it's nothing; I should think I would know you better than that by now. You're acting like you've up and gone mental, talking in riddles and staring off into space!" he sighed.

Lily gave a choked laugh at his bluntness, it _was _pretty insane…

"Hey! I have _not_ gone mental you prat!" at that she threw a pillow at his head.

They laughed, "Now that's more like it!"

After a few seconds they sobered, Lily yawned, "I guess I'm just tired and have too much on my mind. Guess I'll just go on and get some rest before the night is lost." Lily got up, "Goodnight James."

Lily was at the foot of the stairs before James said anything.

"I broke up with her." He said suddenly. Slowly, Lily turned around, "what?" she practically whispered.

James walked towards her ever-so-slowly, a serious look on his face. "I broke up with Anna today. Right before I got here actually…" James stopped barely a foot from Lily. Looking up at his face, Lily realized how tall he really was…and how very handsome. Her heart fluttered.

"Why?" she whispered, hoping that for once luck would be on her side. James looked at her, an emotion flickering across his face that made her hope things she didn't dare hope for, her heart too fragile to bear it.

He was lost in his thoughts now, "do you know she doesn't drink coffee?"

It was Lily's turn to be confused; "you broke up with her because she doesn't drink coffee?" her look was incredulous.

Lily's question brought him back to the present, he chuckled as he pondered Lily's question, "If only." He answered.

Lily was even more confused, _then why did he break up with Anna? Weren't they happy together? Did they have a quarrel? Will he regret breaking up with her? Why damn it, why?!_ Voicing her inner turmoil Lily asked, "Then…why?"

James was once more lost in his thoughts, somehow with her, but not… "Do you know she doesn't eat meat either? She's a vegetarian. And she bites her nails, even when she's not nervous or anxious…she wears too much perfume, and is not fond of reading. She's blonde, blue-eyed, tall…" _instead of having rich burgundy red hair, and bright green eyes_, he amended thoughtfully.

Lily was even more perplexed than before, and rather angered, having no idea why… "So you broke up with her because she's too beautiful and has some habits that you don't care for?" she said sarcastically.

James was too lost in his thoughts to notice the sarcasm embellishing each of her words; instead he looked into her eyes and solemnly said, "No" shaking his head. "I broke up with her for what she wasn't. I always wanted her to be someone else. We both knew it was coming, just not _when_…I woke up this morning knowing that I couldn't do this anymore…this-this lie. I couldn't go threw living one more day knowing that I was living a lie."

Lily felt like her emotions had gone on a rollercoaster…a very big, fast one. They were all a jumble (her emotions that is). Lily felt relief that the man she loved didn't love another, and yet, felt anger for all she had been through because of this so-called lie.

"Well, good for you James. I hope you're happy now that your deceitful life is over. Goodnight."

As Lily went to turn on her heel, march up to her room and cry herself to sleep, James stopped her with his hand on her arm. Lily was tired, she just wanted to cry herself to sleep damn it! Why couldn't she be granted one simple reprieve?

"No." James simply said. No was such a simple straightforward word, yet it held more than one meaning in this instance of emotional distraught.

James slowly turned Lily around to face him.

"No what James?" looking warily up at him.

His gaze bore into hers, "my life is still a lie."

Now it was her turn to be blunt, "then make it true."

James smiled, "it's harder than you think. Tell me Lily, do you always say the truth, the _whole_ truth?"

Lily pondered his words for a second, "Mostly. Besides, omitting information isn't really lying…it's just keeping a secret."

He smiled, "then I guess you can say that I'm keeping a secret." Looking straight into her eyes he said, "And I'd like to share my secret with you." Lily just stared at him warily. She was tired, he saw. He bet that all she wanted was a nice warm bed to sleep in. but he had to get this off his chest. It was now or never.

When she didn't respond he kept going, "you see... I broke up with Anna because there was someone else…"

"James, you don't hav-"

Cutting her off, he simply said, "oh yes, I do. Lily, you have become one of my best friends and I'd like you to know, please." _Oh no_, Lily thought. _He must have figured out my feelings for him…so now he's trying to tell me that he's not interested, without actually confronting me about it…bastard._ Lily felt hot tears well up in her now-dead eyes and looked down at her feet. She would at least come out of all this with her dignity intact!

James kept talking, "hell, there's always been someone else." Lily could here him smile dreamily, "she's the most beautiful, caring, smart, sometimes too serious, complicated, and absolutely mental at times, but…she's the best person I know. I liked her a whole lot before, but now I know that what I felt before was nothing compared to the love I feel for her now. I desperately want her, no; _need_ her, in my life."

"Then why isn't she?" Lily said softly. _If only he could ever love her half as much_…

James just looked at her; she was no longer studying her shoes intently, but looking straight ahead into his chest. "Because I don't know that she shares those same feelings."

Lily looked up at him sadly "She deserves to know…and you guys deserve a chance at a future together." Her eyes were shining with unshed tears. Didn't she know it was she he spoke of? Were these emotions filling her face with grief, somehow, probably, be for him? His heart swelled with hope. He needed to know, needed to tell her, even if just to see the possibility that his heart might beat once more, for her, his Lily, always. "Really?"

Lily nodded, looking him straight in the eye, "James, any girl would be lucky to have you." She looked back down at her shoes; _she would _not_ cry in front of James Potter, she absolutely would _not But she couldn't take it anymore; there is only so much a girl can take. Hot tears of a breaking heart were hard to keep at bay.

James took her chin between his thumb and forefinger, lifting her head so he could see her face. The intensity of his eyes made her shiver. "Then I guess you should better rethink you luck Lilypad." Lily's eyes widened as comprehension dawned on her, a second before he leaned forward and kissed her; tenderly, softly, tentatively, waiting for her reaction. After the initial shock wore off, Lily responded, opening her mouth and her heart to the man she would love, always.


End file.
